Monday, May 18, 2009

Blue on Blue

Life seems to snowball in the strangest ways. I left off after leaving my son at school, cried the whole way home, and tonight I prepare for the long drive to go pick him up...

How was I to know that this was going to be such a tough season? We all have heard "if you can't say something nice, than don't say it at all", and I suppose I have sort of been thinking that regarding blogging. Once again I have hit a dry patch, but this time it is more due to real life weighing heavy.

With the snow melting, and the sun shining, I have to believe that a season of loss is ending. I have to believe that.

In January I lost a ministry that is very near and dear to my heart. In February I lost my 2nd born to college, which is "good" but still painful. In March my oldest moved out on his own, so two of my three are leaving the nest and I ache.

Two weeks after leaving my Toad at school, I received a call from the hospital. My dad was there in ICU. Within a few days we had a diagnosis, and he was released into Hospice care...given six months to live. I spent the next two and a half months caring for him, but in April...I lost my dad.

Now as I plan to go get my son from school, I also plan my dad's memorial. I don't think I have ever cried so much as I have these past few months.

I have been knitting though! What is funny to me is that in hindsight I notice a lot of blue. It was not a conscious decision. I see a thread to it all and will elaborate further...but for now, I just wanted to dip my toe back into this thing called blogging.


Maria said...

Yesterday after church, a man asked my husband for permission to pray for me. It was interesting. He prayed for the season of change that I'm starting, and he had no idea what was going on in our lives. And I do have big changes in the fall. The daughter I homeschooled this year will go to a new school. All four of our kids (minus the college one) will be in the school I went to, and couldn't wait to get away from. They're loving it! I'm going to have lots of free time in the fall!!!

I'm going to pray that God will show you where he wants you as your life changes so drastically. After being "just" a mom for so long, I believe God has prepared us for new tasks. I'm excited to see what God has planned for the next phase.

IrishgirlieKnits said...

My heart goes out to you. Such a season of loss, I agree....its time for it to pass and to be the start of a new season. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))

Tammy said...

I'm so sorry you've been experiencing such a rough season. You'll be in my prayers. Rejoicing comes in the morning. :)

Good Yarns said...

Rejoicing indeed comes in the morning!

My dad passed away 2 years ago, and his end of life was hard, too. Blessings of peace and comfort to you. (((hugs)))

Madre Adoptiva said...

Huge, huge hugs coming your way.